The Quote Book

This book is dedicated to those people who everybody knows is stupid and when they open their mouth, remove all doubt from everybody's mind that they are in fact stupid!

22 09 88 From Dvr Bohan to Rocky. "What's that on your shoulder Rocky?" to which Rocky replied "An 8ft strop" and its was - an 8ft strop

Garmish. John Bacon inquired "What's that foot rest thingy in the Canoe?" to which the Canoe instructor replied "Er - a foot rest!"

Ex Certain Challenge 1988. Canadian Officer to Smiler Buchanan. " I don't mean to be rude, but your the first black person I have heard speak proper English" Smiler replied with a grin "Im coping pretty well with it now!"

Over heard in Crew Bar. Jock Bohan "Im thinking of buying a pine bed" Steve Goddard. "Yeah, I just got a double bed for 700 Marks!' Jock Bohan asked "What Pine?" Steve explained "No, Wood!!"

"O, O That was nice Sir!!" Signed Aus

PT 27 09 88. Whilst running back from the gym after a hectic game of Volleyball. L/Cpl Solomons shouted to the RQMS "Slow down Q, let the rest catch up!" Reported by Dvr Bohan.

The Q was rather a fat Chappy signed Anon

29 9 88. whilst in the screws Officer, SAC Wright and Dvr Parsons were discussing the SAF caravan Cleaning trip, Dvr Parsons was keen to learn the daily Agenda and asked what it was they did each day. SAC Wright replied "Well,you wake up every morning" The rest of the conversation was then abolished

Exercise Keystone. Rapier Lift. Four members of Team Two sheltering in their Landrover during a torrential rainstorm and Streaky was making an all in Stew with half a tin of Luncheon meat in his mouth. Suddenly an Artillery Colonel came to the back of the Rover. "Er, Excuse me chaps, can you tell me where the BCP (Battery Control Point) is?" Dvr Caines then piped up "What's that then - a fire extinguisher!" The whole team then collapsed with laughter, Streaky was sick and Dvr Caines got a good kicking!!

Aint that a BCF? Signed Fire Officer

07 10 88. Screws Office. The Phone rings and Jock Bohan answers "JHSU Speaking, Dvr Bohan" Phone call was then terminated due to uncontrollable laughter and general sarcastic wind ups

MT Office. Dvr Davis answers the phone, quote. "JHSU, RAF Gutersloh speaking"

Dvr Davis is a Knob! Signed Anon

08 10 88 Pigs Bar. SAC Wright was taking a good thrashing from Dvr (I want to be remembered as Bobby Brown) Davis. SAC Wright missed the black and left it in a perfect position for Bobby Brown to pot the black and win the game. Bobby Davis lined up the cue, took the shot and watched the black ball disappear down the pocket. He then turned round to SAC Wright and smirked " Your the worst player I have ever played" At which point the white ball disappeared down the opposing pocket, thus loosing the game and handing victory to SAC Wright. Reported by Miles Caines

Sherpa Van, on the A2. Woody explained that Catterick Hall, must be in Catterick Barracks. Perfect sense we all thought. Dvr Sheridan ensured Woody "Its OK Woody, I know where Catterick Hall is!" All trust was placed in the hands of Dvr Sheridan until we arrived at 1 BR Corps, Ripon Barracks. The S/Sgt on the gate looked puzzled when asked where we were going and explained to Dvr Sheridan that Catterick Hall, was in Fact in Catterick Barracks!"